The Earthbound Body is an Intricate Part of the Realm of Our Divine Play & Soul Evolution
I love your big heart. I miss you so much mama. I will continue to miss you everyday. Without your LOVE I wouldn't be the powerhouse of inspiration that I am today. I am not sure I would of survived without your LOVE mama. Life is unforgivable. My heart is exploding in all directions. Will I survive without my mama's love? Tears are streaming down my cheeks. Is her strength really inside of me now? My aunts say she is watching over me. The two first weeks after my mother's passing were undeniably the two most life altering weeks of my life. I am not the same person I was before she past. I am an adult for the first time. The intensity of the emotional ride was enlightening on so many levels. Death is indubitably finale. I have learned so much about love and the preciousness of life since my mother died. Profound life lessons are learned from the intensity of the shock that is brought on by death. Death's sacred teachings, flowering from the mourning process, are undeniably at the core of life's mystery. It is a mysterious grace that births us into the cycle of life, death, infinite transformation, and eternal wondering!
I found the dead body of my loving mother in front of our house. The house where I grew up. It is also the house I had been living in with her for the last 15 months. I am so deeply grateful that I was living with her for some time before she died. This family home is filled with old memories, enlightening childhood souvenirs, as well as the most challenging moments of my adolescence. Now this house is holding like a prayer the sacred memory of my mother's death. This mourning process is the most sacred period of my life. I love the wild textures of old memories that are held by this house! The house from which I am writing, mourning, and will continue to be living. I am so grateful that I was able to mourn my mother here in my house right from the beginning. From Day 1 of the mourning process this is where I wanted to be. I am also grateful for all the extraordinary family and community support I have witnessed, received and experienced. When I found her dead body she was lying on her back. She was outside on the front porch, right in front of the front door. She had a rare, small but distinct smile on her face. An expression I had never seen on her face before. Dying is a sacred process. I had always imagined that I would be with her when she passed. However, as my cousin Alex mentioned, that would of meant that she would have been bed ridden for the last part of her life. She was independent until the end. I am so grateful she choose to die in front of our house at home. Because of this I was able to find her and see the beautiful and rare smile she had on her face. That was her last expression, the smile of the dying process. The natural expression of her mystical experience; that of dying. Her last expression, the last facial expression of her transition from life to death would be engraved in my heart forever. That was my dear mother's last gift. The smile of eternal life. Ever since my Angel Birth, I have always thought that the moment of death would be the most beautiful moment of my life. I bet you it was for her. So much gratitude for the opportunity to catch her facial expression. That was a real gift. Thank you mama. The extraordinary memory of your beautiful, rare, mystical smile, your very last facial expression at the moment of your physical death and transition into the ether, will be held in my heart as a sacred prayer.
This moment when we transition from living to dying is the ultimate transformation. As far as I understand (/or indeed it is possible that I do not understand), death is actually the most important and the most sacred moment of our lives. As we transition, our soul is released back into the Oversoul. Rick Strassman M.D., in his book, “DMT: The Spirit Molecule: A Doctor's Revolutionary Research into the Biology of Near-Death and Mystical Experiences” 2000, brings forth the theory that DMT is the last chemical that is release from our body when we die. DMT is released by the pineal gland, which is the seat of the soul in the human mortal body. Rick Strassman explains that the dying process is the final activation of the pineal gland. Dying is a psychedelic experience in which the Soul tunnels through the threshold between the dimensions of life and death. Dying is Sacred.
To be continued.