THE DEATH OF MY DEAR MOTHER HAS CATALYZED
LOVE IS FORGIVENESS FORGIVE YOURSELF DARLING HUMANS LEARN BY MAKING MISTAKES YOU DID NOT COME HERE TO BE PERFECT YOU ALREADY ARE YOU ALREADY ARE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE YOU ARE AN INTRICATE PART OF THE NAMELESS ALL YOUR SOUL IS DIVINE AND ETERNAL YOUR BRAVE SPIRIT CHOOSE TO COME HERE TO LEARN HUMAN IMPERFECT LOVE YOU ARE BORN OUT OF PERFECTION YOU ARE AN INFINITE BEING YOU ARE INFINITE YOU DID NOT COME HERE TO LOVE PERFECTLY OR TO BE PERFECT YOU ALREADY ARE YOU CAME HERE TO EXPERIENCE THE PERFECTION OF IMPERFECTION THE IMPERFECTION OF THIS DIMENSION A SENSE OF SEPARATION FROM SOURCE TO LEARN THE LESSONS OF THIS EARTHBOUND DIMENSION ALL YOU NEED IS THE WILLINGNESS TO OPEN YOUR HEART TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IS YOU LOVE KEEP EXPANDING YOUR CAPACITY FOR LOVE AND KEEP OPENING THAT WILD COURAGEOUS HEART OF YOURS
This is a picture of my mother Claudette Jean-Gilles taken in April 1966, a few months after she survived a plane accident on January 22nd 1966. She believe that she survived her plane accident to gave birth to me. My mama believed that I had a special purpose coming into this world. My mother passed away on March 1st 2019. She was going to be 78 years old on March 24th 2019. The film that I am directing, "Dragon Tears," will be dedicated to her wild and loving Spirit. I LOVE YOUR KIND HEART MAMA! I miss you so much.
Mourning is a Tidal Wave
Writing is healing.
With my birth, finding my mother dead and mourning my mother's dear SOUL, has been the most sacred period of my life. I remember clearly experiencing a tidal wave in a vivid dream I had approximately five weeks before she died. In my dream, I was in the ocean alone swimming, the water was clear and beautiful. Suddenly, this huge tidal wave came out of nowhere. I instantly knew that there was nothing I could do to avoid it. This huge wave was coming right at me. There was no purpose fighting the experience. I had to let go, let the wave have me. I let go and woke up. I remember wondering what that dream was going to be about...I haven't had any dreams that I can remember since my mother died. Was this dream unconsciously preparing me for the approaching death of my mother and the intensity of the process of letting go of my dear mother's eternal SOUL? Fortunately, with the passing of time, this tidal wave is becoming more manageable. I intend to use the symbol of the tidal wave as a tool to trigger lucid dreaming from now on.
Thank you dear friend, dear stranger, for reading my work and participating in this healing process.
The immensity of this tidal wave symbolizes the emotional release of the boundless energetic emotional attachment and timeless SOUL contract that intertwines my HEART to my Mother's SOUL on this earthly plane and beyond. This flowering quantum melody remains eternal. I am blessed with the sadness I hold dearly in my heart. Mother, I will continue to pay homage to your SOUL by revering my deep sadness as a sacred prayer, and with it, the precious memory of your last smile. When I found my mama in front of the porch, she had already transitioned into the afterlife. All that was left of this life was her last experience, that of her transition, the mystical experience of the experience of death...that of the welcoming angels of the afterlife...She had a rare smile on her face. I am so deeply grateful she choose to die in front of our house, where I could find her and be a kind witness to her last expression. That smile, my dear mother's last gift, will remain engraved in my heart for eternity. Death is the revelation of a moment of truth. The truth death uncovers is that of the unassailable ineffability of the boundlessness and sacredness of life. Death is the greatest teacher. It is the greatest teacher because of it's unforgivable finality. Death teaches about LOVE and the preciousness of life. Mother I promise to hold these layers of sacred memories in the pattern of a cross on the tip of my diamond-shaped heart. I have to hold my heart when it hurts. I will continue to hold my heart when it hurts. Holding my heart and my mama's sacred prayers with deep gratitude. Now that it has been almost one month, I hope to begin occupying my mind with the life that I am living. I have to slowly, patiently transition from the intensity of the first month of mourning to a little more structure. She is gone, but I am still here...with everything she has left me, and with an entire life to begin.
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Mourning is an intense emotional wave that submerges you
My mother loved me unconditionally from the moment she learned that she was pregnant with me. All her life she shared everything she had with me. She gave me everything she had. She gave me her life. Throughout my life she repeated to me continuously that the best day of her life was the day she gave birth to me. Mama! I love your kindest heart! My aunt Magalie told me that my mother truly believed that the reason she survived her plane accident on January 22nd 1966 in Haiti was because she was suppose to give birth to me. My mama believed that I had a special purpose coming into this life. My aunt Magalie told me to find out what my purpose is, to live my life mission and true soul purpose. I intend to follow her stellar advice. “Memory Theater” is a short experimental film I directed in 2006 during my first MFA at California College of the Arts in San Francisco, on the topic of my mother's experience as the only survivor of a plane accident! “Memory Theater” is my first film. Here is the link to view this 15-minute experimental documentary film. https://www.neidrya.com/memory-theater.html
The Earthbound Body is an Intricate Part of the Realm of Our Divine Play & Soul Evolution
This is a healing prayer in the form of writing and the first part of a series of short texts that have yet to be written on the inexhaustible themes of death, release and the heart. My mother past away recently. This poetic prose is an oath to my mother's extraordinary Soul-life, as well as an opportunity to give thanks to her wild loving spirit and bless her kind heart with all the gratitude I have in mine. This is a lyrical song written in the form of prose to give thanks to the wise one who gave birth to me. Mother I have the most sacred and deepest of respect for your eternal Spirit and unconditional LOVE. Thank you for caring for me. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me.
BÉRANGÈRE MAÏA NATASHA PARIZEAU
My artwork, experimental films, and scholarly reflections emerge from a deep curiosity and fascination with the boundlessness of the human spirit, the limitlessness of the cosmic universe, the mythological, the spiritual, the exploration of my EARTH LIGHT body which emanates from infinity (this is the realm of the MYSTERY, the wildest imagination), as well as a real concern for our beautiful planet MOTHER EARTH. The premise of this heuristic body of work is that the current planetary crises are crises in human consciousness, crises of the humanity group soul/spirit. As an environmental advocate and consciousness activist, my work intends to intentionally participate in redesigning culture, the intentional participation in designing a post-growth ecological culture (this is the creative process of redesigning culture) for an ecologically sustainable and spiritually thriving planetary future. My intention is to shed light on the sacred multidimensional ways in which we potentiate the power of our consciousness. This body of work is a prayer to humanity to align our mind and hearts, to raise the power of our hearts, to develop methods and technologies to go inward towards the complexities and awareness of our individual connection to Source We are the Rainbow Warriors. If the world is indeed participatory, we manifest/dream this world into existence. Indeed, dear friends... a colourful future is ours to create!